Mike went to Japan a couple weeks ago. He was gone for 2 weeks. I was a little nervous, but decided to make it a learning time. Maybe a time to kind of work on a few things that needed improvement around here. It was hard and I found myself being less then patient with the kids. I hated it. I was trying so hard and every evening I felt myself feeling so out of control. The kids were everywhere. The baby needed tending to, Hailee was being 2- and boy is she being 2 right now. Mackenzie was having a power struggle with me, McKay and Jordan were just being SO LOUD. Then add homework, dinner, basketball, scouts, dance, bedtime, baths, chores, and all the other things that we had to get done in the 4 hours after school and I was done. I feel that that I am outnumbered all the time. A good friend of mine told me that I needed to secure my spot as MOTHER of this house. What great advice. I need to make sure that the kids know that I AM THE MOTHER. They need to respect and obey me, JUST because I am the mother. I have a tendency of being a little on the soft side. I don't like to see my children upset or sad, so I tend to overlook things or give many many chances. They have totally taken advantage of that. So one night, I sat the kids down and we made some rules. They decided upon all the rules and what the consequence was going to be for breaking them. So far, the kids have really tried to obey the rules. I think they are more involved in it since they made them for themselves. So, with that said, I am feeling a little better. I don't know when I will feel like I have control of my house but I think that I am headed in the right direction. If anyone has any advice, I am all ears.
5 comments:
No advice coming from me, but does it help you feel any better to know you definitely aren't the only one? My kids are so defiant with me lately and it makes me feel like a bad mother. I LOVE your idea of having them make the rules and consequences. Did you write them on a poster board? I think that will be our FHE next week (if I can wait that long).
I have had those moments too! I find the best thing is consistency. If I give Emme or Cams an inch I swear they take a yard! Good luck. I hope the new rules work out great!
We just did the "make the rules" thing too. We read the Berenstein Bears forget their manners and the kids loved it. They decided to do a poster with rules. I think you're amazing for even attempting to mother all those kids with Mike gone. You are amazing...I mean truly amazing!
Being at home for many years alone, with out Kjell often, I know exactly how you feel. My kids definatly would take advantage of any weakness they could see. I had to learn that whne I felt a litte out numbered I would tell them. I would say to them something like, "ok, I am going to lose it" or I would simply have to say, I need a time out. and TAKE IT! It worked sometimes, but overall, I had to also just accept that things were not going to be perfect, and that helped me let alot of little things go.
Evenings are the WORST! The caos drives me crazy. 2 weeks is a long time. I'm glad you all survived. I like that phrase your friend told you. I am going to secure my spot as mother of the house too. :) Right now we are working on being respectful in our home...we have a long way to go!
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